Carpentry and Woodworking - restoring woodwork

Our home is twelve years old and the stained woodwork has lacquer as the original finish. Since the high gloss finish is so soft, it mars quite easily. I have tried covering the scratches etc., with Old English. After a time the oil dries and the scratches reappear. I've done a little research on the various clear finishes and have learned that I can't put polyurethane over the lacquer. In a test area I've tried using a liquid sander (Paso) and then applying a couple coats of spar varnish. The finish isn't much tougher. Also tried just applying a coat of brush on lacquer over the existing coat. Results not great. Would it be advisable to wipe surface with lacquer thinner; wipe the entire surface with color matched stain; allow to dry and then re-lacquer? Any ideas?????

Doesn't sound a like a silly woman -sounds like you've at least tried to do some homework.

Spar varnish is suggested for exterior projects because it dries very slowly - and stays soft/flexible. It's original use, as the name suggests, was on the spars (horizontal members) of ships masts.

You are correct in that polyurethane can not usually be applied over lacquer. There are exceptions, but they vary from maker to maker.

The option you mention, wiping down with lacquer thinner and recoating with lacquer is viable. You can also scrub the finish off with lacquer thinner and steel wool and use standard varnish (not spar).

Easiest of all would be to apply a coat of shellac, let it dry, and THEN apply a coat of standard varnish. Shellac acts as a barrier coat between the varnish and lacquer. Going this way will provide a durable surface with minimum work.