Faux Finishing - plastic/laminate cabinets, how to glaze?

Unfortunately, I bought a nice home that has the cheap lowe's cabinets. I want to glaze my white-plastic laminate kitchen cabinets. However, I want the glaze to actually stay, and not wear in the next two years. I don't really want to change the color dramatically. Simply (or not so simply) want the darker color to hang in the grooves and soften the white portion to more of a bone color. I went to sherwin williams and they suggested: 1) sand (what about No Sand?) 2) primer that bonds to plastic 3) oil based paint 4) glaze.

any other suggestions?

You MUST sand the thermofoil cabinets to create tooth, or your paint will just peel off. Don't try to short cut that step, or you will end up with a mess later.

If you would prefer to use a water based product, faux effects has a primer product called prime etch, which requires a thin coat after sanding and cleaning. You could then use the faux effects water based base coat paint and their glazes, and avoid the inconvenience of using oil based paints. I don't think you are going to be able to glaze the finish you have now without painting first. The glaze will not stick to the thermofoil cabinets, and glazing over primer is not advisable.