Furniture, Wood and Cabinetry Finishing - Refinishing veneer cabinets

Am upgrading several rooms in our house that include cabinets, like the bathroom and kitchen. The home is 16 years old and has what I call "builder's" grade cabinets and fixtures. They are a veneer over particle board and look like oak or gunstock. The husband of a friend is a cabinet guy and gave me the details to improve the look of these generic cabinets, does this sound like a good plan?

Light sand with a fine grit. Wipe clean.
He uses a sponge brush to apply a dark Min-Wax stain/poly mix to save himself the clear coat step.
Sand, clean and repeat until we get the darkness we like and it's done.

Seeing the cabinets he's done in his own home proves it can be done. But will it still look good in a few years? He has the same generic big box, builder type cabinets as I do though his house is brand new...will this work in my outdated home?

Thank you.

Tinted poly can be difficult for some to apply. Because the poly has some color to it any areas painted too heavy will be darker than areas with less poly on them. Also lap marks and drips/runs will really show.

For a job like yours I would sand lightly [always in the direction of the grain - no cross sanding] then apply 1 coat of tinted poly and then 1-2 coats of clear poly. The clear poly will protect the tinted poly. Over time the finish will wear but if only the clear wears it won't affect the color of the cabinets.

With reasonable care and use your refinished cabinets should look good for many years.

Thanks Marksr.

Would it be better/easier to just use my favorite color stain to the desired darkness, then clear coat it?
One or two clear coats?
Is spray or brush-on poly best?
Any affordable brands or products you'd care to recommend?
We're going to test the look this weekend, I'll post again after.

It is hard to stain any wood that has been sealed. Stain needs to penetrate the wood with the excess being wiped off.

Spraying usually gives a better finish and it is easier to control the color with tinted polys by spraying. Not always advisable to spray in an occupied dwelling. With care and a good natural bristle brush a good job can be done with a brush.

Minwax makes both tinted poly [polyshades] and polyurathane. Both are available at most paint stores and home centers.

When I rough up the surface of my cabinets before staining, can I use an orbital sander going with the grain?

I have 120, 180 and 220 grit papter...what's best throughout the project?
Can I use the orbital between coats of stain?

You can use an orbital sander for the intial sanding. Because of it's speed it doesn't pose a big problem with cross scratching the grain. It is usually best to start out with coarse paper, finishing with fine.

After the 1st coat of poly has been applied all sanding should be light hand sanding. Don't forget to wipe off the dust.