Furniture, Wood and Cabinetry Finishing - painting vs. staining furniture

A couple of years ago we purchased unfinished kitchen table and chairs. My husband quickly stained them (had a party that night!) but it was never a thorough job. Now I would like to paint them black with rubbed edges, and possibly have a color (like red) show through underneath when sanded. I have partially stripped/sanded the furniture. My husband says I have to use a chemical stripper to get all of the stain off, but I don't like using the chemicals. Two questions 1) can I strip well enough with sanding? and 2) can I use paint (my husband says I need to use black stain) for the surface and how do I prevent it from peeling? Can you provide me with step-by-step answers?? I'm trying to do this right and by myself, if you know what I mean. I'm trying to get the "country french" look with rubbed edges. Thanks for your help!

You don't need a stripper. It makes no difference whether the piese were finish in addition to staining or not.

Sand lightly - to scuff up the surfaces. Prime - I normally use either BIN or KILZ.

Apply the undercoat (red in your case.)

Apply the over coat - black - before the paint dries, wipe off the areas where you want the red to show through. If you get heavy-handed, just apply more black.

After you get where you want to be, let it dry for 24 hours.

If you want additional protection (or a change in sheen), use water based polyurethane. It's water clear (clear as a glass of water) and won't affect the color.